The Guy
why removing emojis from your texts gets more responses
tldr: Emojis, winky faces, and exclamation points signal that you're invested in the outcome, which is the fastest way to read as thirsty and get ignored. Dropping them makes you look like a guy with options who doesn't care if it works. Flat, lowercase, emoji-free text creates the mystery women actually respond to.
A buddy of mine just ran a textbook cold approach. Walked up to a girl on the street in downtown Denver. Got her number. Clean execution. The kind of thing most guys never work up the nerve to do.
Then he fumbled the text game so badly I had to pull my camera out on the sidewalk and make a video about it.
He sent me the screenshot. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Emojis everywhere. And then, the finishing move, a winky face. This guy has a master's degree. Runs his own tech startup in one of the best cities in America. Fit. Stylish. Better tan than me, which I'm still bitter about. Best catch on paper out of all my friends.
And he was texting like a 14-year-old girl who just got her first phone.
why do emojis make you look worse over text?
Because emojis are a tell.
Every emoji you add is you hedging your bet. You're softening the message so she can't possibly read it the wrong way. You want to come off warm. Approachable. Unoffensive. Safe.
Here's the problem. All of that reads as one thing: invested in the outcome.
And invested is the kiss of death over text. This is Signal Inversion Theory in plain sight. The guy on paper who has everything going for him sabotages the one thing that matters, because the moment he opens a chat he starts performing. He smiles too hard. He decorates every sentence. He's so worried the conversation might die that he props it up with little cartoon faces.
A guy with options doesn't do that. A guy who's just having fun, who isn't taking any of it too seriously, who has nothing to lose because he doesn't care if it works out, texts flat. He doesn't garnish. The emoji is the digital version of laughing at your own joke before anyone else does.
My friend is objectively a stud. But his phone made him look nervous. That's the whole problem with being impressive in person and invisible over text. The signal doesn't match the man.
what does the winky face actually communicate?
I had a female friend tell me this directly. The winky face means one thing to a woman: all you want is sex.
It's not subtle to her. It's a flare. You think you're being playful. She reads it as a guy who wants something. The second you signal that, you've collapsed into the same category as every other predator in her inbox. You've handed her all the power. And when a woman has all the power and you've shown you're thirsty, she rejects you almost every time.
Same with exclamation points. Every exclamation point is you shouting "I'm so enthusiastic about this." Overly enthusiastic. Overly invested. It's the texting equivalent of replying to a "we'll be in touch" email with three follow-ups in one day. You're trying so hard to keep the door open that you shut it.
Delete the emoji keyboard. I'm serious. If it's gone, you can't reach for it when you get nervous.
what should i text instead?
Here's a real one. On the apps, she messages you:
"lol you remind me of Chandler from Friends."
RIP Matthew Perry. Now, here's what you're about to send.
Before: Haha that's so funny 😂😂 I love Friends too! We should def watch it together sometime 😉
Look at it. Double emoji. Exclamation point. Winky face. A date lunge off a throwaway comparison. I would have sent something almost identical years ago, so I'm not judging from a mountain. I lived in that swamp.
Here's what The Guy told me to run instead.
After: i just googled him and i need a minute to process what you're implying about me
No emoji. No exclamation point. All lowercase. Flat.
Now here's why it works. Her comment was a playful jab. The instinct most guys have is to over-validate it, mirror her interest like a golden retriever who just heard the word "walk," and lunge for a Netflix date. All three of those are moves of a guy trying to lock something down.
The Googling reply does the opposite. It makes her the aggressor. She threw the grenade, and now she owns the cleanup. She has to explain herself to you. You flipped the frame without trying, and you did it in twelve words with zero decoration. This is the same reason failing her test on purpose beats passing it. You didn't perform. You mildly accused her. She now has to earn her way back.
why does flat, boring-looking text get more responses?
Because it's different, and different is the entire game.
Every guy in her inbox is doing the emoji thing. The exclamation points. The eager questions stacked at the end of every message because they're terrified the chat will go quiet. She's seen it ten thousand times. It's wallpaper. It's boring.
When you send something flat, absurd, and a little alarming, she can't file you away. She can't wrap her head around you. That gap is the intrigue. That's the mystery. A woman spends most of her life as the prey while guys play predator. Be the one guy who refuses to play predator, and she leans in to figure out what your deal is.
And this works even better when you're the guy who has everything going on. The startup. The tan. The style. When a man who clearly has options texts like an idiot toddler who's scared of women, the math doesn't add up in her head, and she has to keep talking to solve it. Acting ridiculous when you have every reason to act polished is the trick. It's the same logic behind texting like a virgin: the absence of the slick, sexual, hyper-invested move is exactly what makes you land.
The Idiot Toddler Framework and The Virgin Factor both point at the same thing. Stop performing. Say the flat, dumb, slightly confusing thing. Let her carry a little of the weight.
am i supposed to worry the conversation feels dead?
No. That worry is what created the emoji habit in the first place.
You add the exclamation point because you're scared of silence. You stack a question at the end because you can't stand the idea of her not replying. You throw in a smiley to make sure she knows you're friendly. All of it comes from the same fear, and she can smell the fear in every character.
The move is to send the flat line and let it sit. Don't try to carry the conversation. Don't rescue it. The flatness isn't a bug, it's the entire signal. It says you're not sweating this. A guy who isn't sweating it is a guy with options, and a guy with options is the guy she wants.
If you want proof this isn't just my opinion, watch what happens when you send the opposite of your instinct. The text you'd normally be embarrassed to send is usually the one that works.
So here's the whole takeaway. No emojis. No winky faces. No exclamation points. All lowercase. Text like the hottest girls you know text, because they already figured this out. Every message I send now is lowercase and flat, and it isn't an accident.
Delete the emoji keyboard. Then fix the rest.
try The Guy at asktheguy.app. paste your conversation, get the version that actually works.
video transcript
All right. So a buddy of mine literally just executed a textbook cold approach, got her number off the street, and then fumbled it in the worst way possible with the text game. And so naturally, even though I'm in the middle of downtown Denver right now, I just had to pull out my camera and make a video about it.
Now, the tell-tell thing he did that sabotaged the vibe over text was that he used way too many emojis. I couldn't believe what I was looking at when he sent me the screenshot. And then worst of all, he used a winks face, too. So guys, in this video, I'm gonna explain to you why you should never be using emojis when you're texting women on the apps or over text message.
And when you watch the end of this video, you're gonna be so thoroughly convinced about this that you're actually gonna delete the entire emoji keyboard from your phone. He was literally texting like a 14-year-old girl who just got a phone. I, I was ... It was unbelievable. And keep in mind, my friend here, super successful.
He's got a master's degree. He has his own tech startup in one of the best cities in America. He's fit. He's stylish. He's got a fantastic tan. Honestly, I am so jealous. I would love to be his skin color right now in the middle of summer. And yet he sabotaged himself over the text game. It's the signal inversion theory in action.
He's literally ... If I were to rank all my friends, he's literally probably the best catch on paper, and yet his text game is atrocious. So let's talk about why emojis and winks face don't work. Number one, the emojis are a tell, guys. It's showing that you're hedging your bets. You are desperate for her to not interpret her- your message in the worst way possible.
You're trying to be unoffensive. You're trying to be warm and approachable. But it just doesn't work because when you try to text that way, it just reads as overly invested in the outcome, and invested is the kiss of death over the text communication. 'Cause a guy who's just trying to take, who's just trying to have fun, who's not taking things too seriously and has plenty of options and therefore nothing to lose, doesn't really care whether or not it works out.
And when you text with the winks face and the emojis, it's the worst possible signal you could possibly be giving out. And you should really drop the winks face because, like I was saying on a recent video, one of my female friends said the winks face means all you want is sex. It's like a direct signal, if you will.
So just drop it because once you are signaling that, then you're coming off just like every other guy, a predator, someone who wants something from her. And then this gives her all, all the power, quote, unquote, and then almost all the time she's gonna end up rejecting you, okay? So you cannot be overly thirsty, and that's what the winks face is doing.
Same thing with the exclamation points, okay? Exclamation points, again, are just being overly enthusiastic, overly invested in the outcome. It's just not gonna work. Now let me give you an example of what will work. So, and this is with The Guy app. Link in the description if you wanna grab a free trial and start texting like the catch you are.
So because I was the guy making these exact mistakes, I was leaving emojis too. I thought I was making the fun more interesting, more adding some emotion and some flair to the text. But guys, it never worked. What does work is The Guy app and the total mindship- mindset shift you will undergo if you download it and start using it because, quite honestly, it will completely transform your dating life.
I'm not even being... I'm not even joking. I'm honestly risking professional suicide making these videos just so I can help you with the text game because I know about the transformation it made for myself. Okay? So now say on the apps, for example, you get a message. She goes... She says something like, "Lol, you remind me of Chandler from Friends."
Okay? RIP Matthew Perry. Now, right now you're probably thinking about saying something like, "Ha ha, that's so funny, double emojis. I love Friends too! Exclamation point. We should def watch it together sometime. Winks emoji." Terrible. I mean, I would've said something similar myself at one point in time, but not anymore.
Now, if you were to run that text through The Guy before you send it, here's what The Guy app would tell you. 'Cause The Guy app is not just gonna give you AI generated pickup lines, it's g- it's an entire text coach that's gonna walk you through the entire interaction, give you lines step by step, and help you actually navigate the text game so you can go from app to number, and then ultimately to the date, guys.
That's what this is all about. So The Guy would say, "That text is a crime scene. He's doing three terrible things at once. Over-validating her comment, mirroring her interest like a golden retriever, and lunging for a date off a throwaway comparison. The winky face alone should be grounds for phone confiscation."
I, I agree She gave him a playful jab. The move is to be confused or mildly alarmed by it, not to roll over and propose a Netflix date. Three options. Number one, I don't know who that is and the way you said it felt like a threat. Number two, I just Googled him and I need a minute to process what you're implying about me.
Or number three, Chandler gets made fun of by everyone on that show. Is that what's happening right now? And then it says I'd go with number two, the Googling comment. It makes her the aggressor who just wounded him and now she has to explain herself. She threw a grenade and now she owns the cleanup. So guys, there's one thing you're going to take away from this video.
No emojis, no exclamation points, all lowercase text, okay? Start texting like a hot girl. They use all lowercase text if you haven't realized, at least the vast majority of them. That's why every text I send these days, all lowercase. We'll get into a future video on why you should do that. The sub communication though is immense in that area.
And so guys, don't be afraid to just say, to just, well, number one, don't be afraid first and foremost to download the guy app. You don't even need to download it. It's a web app as of now. Start a free trial, get an analysis of where things are in the chat and just send what it implies. And don't worry that it's flat, that it's not trying to carry the conversation.
That's exactly what you want because every woman is used to the emojis, is used to the exclamation points, is used to the questions because you're afraid the chat is going to die, okay? And it's boring to them. They want a guy who's different. They want a guy who's saying absurd flat things that they can't wrap their head around.
That's the mystery. That's the intrigue. And it works even better when you have everything going on, when you already have the startup, the entrepreneurial background, the fitness, the style. When you act totally ridiculous, go back and watch the videos on this channel. When you act like the idiot toddler virgin who is afraid of women.
I know it's ridiculous, but it's 100% true. Then you create a mystery where she can't figure you out and then she is so intrigued. But she's used to her entire life being the predator or being the prey, excuse me, and having guys be the predator. So be the one guy who dares to be different. All right, guys.
Again, just to reiterate, never use emojis, never use wink spaces or all that stuff, okay? Delete it. And then if you want to fix the text game once and for all, the link is in the description. Check out the guy app, free trial. I'll talk to you later. See ya. Bye.