The Guy
why failing her test on purpose is more attractive than passing it
tldr: She tests you because she's interested, not because she's looking for a reason to leave. The guy who passes by defending himself fails. The guy who leans into the test and refuses to explain himself wins, because standing your ground is the actual attraction.
She is going to test you. It's not a maybe. It's going to happen when you match, on date one, date three, date fifteen. Get used to it. That's the game.
And here's the part nobody tells you. The test is good news.
She doesn't test guys she isn't interested in. Those guys get ignored or unmatched. Testing takes effort. She only spends that effort on someone she's already curious about. So when the test shows up, the correct reaction isn't panic. It's a small smile. Oh. We're in there now.
The problem is what you do next. Most guys, me included for years, treat the test like an accusation they need to beat. They get defensive. They explain. They apologize. And in doing that, they hand her the exact evidence she was looking for to walk away.
what is a "test" actually checking for?
She's checking one thing. Are you who you've been pretending to be.
That's it. She's seen the polished version. She's read the funny opener. She wants to know if there's a real person under it or a costume. This is the whole reason the fake version of you on dating apps gets found out. She can feel the gap between the performance and the person.
So she knocks on the door. "You're so weird. Are you always like this?"
You hear an alarm. She's not sounding one. She's knocking harder because she liked what she heard the first time.
Watch what happens when you answer the door by climbing out the window.
her: lol you're so weird. is this a bit?
him: haha sorry, i'm just messing around. i'm actually pretty normal, i promise. anyway, how's your day been going so far?
Read that again.
She was intrigued. You panicked. You apologized for being interesting. "I'm actually pretty normal, I promise" is you ripping off the costume because she noticed it, and now you're standing there naked asking about her day like a LinkedIn connection who just got added and doesn't know what to say next.
She didn't say stop. She said "is this a bit." That's an invitation to go deeper. You folded instead.
why is apologizing the actual threat?
This is the part that flips everything, and it's the core of Signal Inversion Theory: the move that feels safe is the one that gets you killed.
From her side, the guy who backtracks the second he gets poked is more dangerous, not less. A guy who shape-shifts to whatever he thinks she wants is a guy she can't read. She has no idea who she's actually talking to. Every answer changes depending on what she seems to want. That's unsettling. That's a guy you can't trust because there's no fixed thing there to trust.
The guy who knows exactly who he is and won't apologize for it? Easy to read. Safe in the only way that matters. She knows where he stands because he never moves.
Red pill will tell you frame is about dominance. Always leading, always controlling, always flexing your masculine energy. That's wrong, and it's insecurity wearing a costume that says masculinity on the front. Real frame is quieter. It's just not moving when she pushes. It's standing your ground with a smirk instead of a defense.
what do you actually say instead?
Here's the same conversation. Same test. One reply changed.
her: lol you're so weird. is this a bit?
him: i wish it was a bit
Four words.
No apology. No explanation. No pivot to "how's your day." She wanted to know if you're real and you just confirmed it without stepping outside a single thing you'd already said. She's now more curious than before the test, not less. The door she was knocking on just opened and there's an actual person behind it.
The move here is amplify the absurdity. She points at the thing that makes you interesting, you lean in harder. She says "are you always like this," you say "unfortunately, yeah." She says "is this a bit," you say "this is the most serious conversation I've had in weeks." Whatever you do, you don't shrink the thing she noticed. You make it bigger.
This is the same reason trying to impress her after she matched backfires. The impressing, the explaining, the reassuring, it all reads as "please like me." And "please like me" is the least attractive signal you can send.
what about tests that aren't texts?
They happen on dates too. Same rule.
Say she goes, "This was going so great, but I just found out you're from New Jersey. Sorry, I don't date East Coast guys."
You say, "Don't worry, you'll adjust." Smirk included.
That's a pass. You held. You didn't argue your case.
Now watch the fail. "Oh but I'm actually so different, that's why I moved out to Colorado, I'm not like other East Coast guys, blah blah blah." You just wrote a cover letter defending your entire region. You proved her point. You showed her you'll bend the second you get a little pressure. Now she knows she can walk all over you, and walking all over someone gets boring fast.
The defensive version always sounds like it's negotiating for approval. The frame version sounds like a guy who's genuinely fine either way. One of those is attractive. It's not the one that talks more.
why does passing make her more interested, not less?
Because now she has proof.
Before the test, she had a hunch you might be real. After you pass, she knows. "Oh, this guy's actually who he says he is. Oh, this guy gets it." That's not a relief for her. It's a green light. The tension she felt turns into interest she can act on.
And the long game backs this up. If it goes to date three, date seven, date fifteen, if it goes to marriage and forty more years, she finds out who you really are anyway. You cannot wear a costume for four decades. So the guy playing a character isn't buying safety, he's just delaying the moment it all falls apart. Being yourself early isn't a risk. It's the only thing that survives.
This is the same reason nice guys get ghosted. The niceness is a performance of the guy they think she wants. She can smell the performance. The test is her trying to find out if there's anyone home. When you fold, you tell her there isn't.
So the mindset shift is this. Stop treating tests like threats to survive. Start treating them as confirmation you're in the running. She's only testing you because she's interested. The way through is not more masculinity, not more explaining, not more you. It's just refusing to move. Hold the frame. Smirk. Say the four words. Let her come to you.
You don't need to twist yourself into a pretzel guessing what she likes. The guy who does that reeks of the insecurity red pill mistakes for strength. The guy who doesn't is the most charismatic version of himself, because he's not managing an image. He's just there.
She knocked. Don't apologize for what's inside. Open the door wider.
try The Guy at asktheguy.app. paste your conversation, get the version that actually works.
video transcript
She's going to test you. It's inevitable. And the way you respond is going to dictate everything that happens from there on out. Let me explain. Gentlemen, we have a t- we have approached the point in the channel where we must now talk about frame, and frame is the m- most misunderstood topic in all of dating.
Now, the red pill influencers will have you believe that frame is all about maintaining your alpha masculine dominance, always leading, always being super masculine, always trying to control the situation. But that is not what maintaining frame is about. Maintaining frame is really just about being unapologetic and standing your ground when she pokes fun at you, when she tests you.
She really just wants to see by testing you that you are who you say you are. And we'll get to a couple examples in a bit that'll show you how you should actually be approaching these situations when she does inevitably test you. Now, the thing I gu- I think you guys also need to realize that it's not a bad thing when she tests you.
First of all, it's going to happen all the time. Get used to it, okay? That's just the way the game is played. She's going to test you maybe when you first match. She's going to test you on dates one, two, three, and probably every single one going forward, okay? And she has to test you. She has to see you are who you say you are.
And the way you pass, it's very simple, it's very easy. The way you pass is by simply standing your ground, not backtracking, not apologizing. For example, say she's like, "Oh, this was going so great, but now I just found out you're from New Jersey. Sorry, I don't date East Coast guys." All you gotta say to that is like, "Don't worry, you'll adjust."
With a little bit of a smirk, of course. And then that's how you pass the test. If you were to instead say something like, "Oh, but you know, I'm so much different. That's why I moved out here to beautiful Colorado, um, because I'm not like every other East Coast guy," blah, blah, blah, then she knows it was all just an act.
Then she knows she can just walk all over you, and that's not fun. And what you have to understand, guys, is from the women's perspective, is that a guy who fails that test, quote-unquote, is actually a lot more dangerous. Because she can trust a guy who's a constant shape-shifter. She can tr- she can trust a guy who she knows, who the guy knows exactly who he is and is unapologetic for it.
And that is what is actually masculine, okay? That's what's actually alpha-like behavior, if you will. All right, guys. So now let me give you some examples here. So she says ... This is the cage shake scenario. She says, "You're so weird. Are you always like this?" Guys, it's not a rejection. It's a security check.
That's what you need to understand, okay? Most guys hear this alarm going off, and they immediately backtrack. They immediately look to soothe her. It's the exact wrong thing. And guys, she's seen it all a million times. It's not like, it's not like there's gonna be any gray area based on how you respond.
She's an attractive girl. She's been on a million dates. She's met a ton of dudes. She knows. She has the pattern recognition. So the apology is the threat, okay? And it's like, you know, when you confess, when you apologize, it's like you're taking off a costume. That's why she can't trust you when you fail.
So let's say she says, "LOL, you're so weird. Is this a bit?" Right? Because you've been using The Guy app, link in the description, killing the text game, and now she's like, "I don't know. This guy seems a little too good to be true. I need to test him." So she says, "LOL, you're so weird. Is this a, is this just a bit?"
Before, guys like you, and I was exactly like this, I would have said something like, "Ha ha, sorry. I'm just messing around. I'm actually pretty normal, I promise. Anyway, how's your day been going so far?" Now, if you were to get... Now, that's the exact type of time where you should be downloading The Guy app. You don't even need to download, actually.
It's just a web app as of right now. But that's exactly why you need The Guy, because a lot of you guys would fumble right then and there. But with The Guy app, you could upload that, take a screenshot, upload it, and get an analysis of the conversation. Or let's just say you think you have all the text game figured out, 'cause we've had a lot of guys who are using The Guy app, great, and it gets them the first date.
They have a great first date. Then they think they've got it all figured out. They think they can go and just run their own God-given text game, and then they shoot themselves in the foot. They don't get a response for two days. Then they need to use The Guy app, and usually The Guy app can get them right back on track with the double text, and it is possible to double text confidently.
I'm sure I'll talk about that in a future video. But they nearly fumbled because they didn't trust The Guy. No, you must always trust The Guy. If there's one thing I have learned in this entire process, it's that you always trust The Guy. So The Guy would say- If you were to run that response that I just gave of, "I'm just messing around.
I'm actually pretty normal, I promise. How's your day?" 'Cause you're trying to pivot with that question at the end, trying to get out of this little trap that you've set yourself. The guy would say, "That's not going to work. You just killed everything. She was intrigued, and you panicked, and you apologized for being interesting.
'Sorry, I'm actually pretty normal, I promise,' is you ripping off the costume because she noticed it, and now you're standing there naked asking her about her day like a LinkedIn connection. She didn't say stop. She said, 'Is this a bit?' That's her knocking on the door harder. You answer by going deeper, not folding."
That's really also a key framework you can use. Always just amplify the absurdity. This is also a unique social situation tactic you can use as well with both men and women. You could just say, number one, "What bit?" Two, "I wish it was a bit." Three, "This is the most serious conversation I've had in weeks." The guy recommends going two: "I wish it was a bit."
It's four words, and it tells her everything she's seen and just who you are. No apology, no explanation, no breaking. She wanted to know if you're real, and you just confirmed you are without stepping outside anything. Now she's even more curious. That's what you guys have to realize. She's only gonna test the guy she's interested in.
So whenever now I've made the mindset shift based on the philosophy that I've outlined on this entire channel that my co-founder and I literally fell ass-backwards into, we had to really just discover this from the ground up as if we were, you know, uh, expeditionists who landed in, like, the Arctic, and we were just discovering it all and mapping the territory for the first time.
She's only going to test you guys if she likes you, if she's curious, if she's intrigued. If she's like, "Man, I might actually go out on a date with this guy." So whenever I see a message like that, that could be viewed, as most of you guys probably would view it, as like a shit test, quote-unquote, I actually smile.
I'm like, "Oh, we're in there now." Because that means she's not gonna test a guy who she has zero interest in. She's just, one, isn't even gonna match with him most likely, but two, at a certain point, she would just ghost or unmatch, right? So that's the mindset shift you must make, is that the frame control is simply you not being afraid to just be yourself.
And guys, you don't need to twist yourself into a pretzel to try to conform to whatever you think she likes. At the end of the day, if things progress, if she's inter- excuse me. I get, I get all worked up and I'm like, you know, I'm just rolling. But guys, if she's interested enough in you to go out on a date, and it goes to date three, date s- date seven, date 15, eventually she's going to find out who you really are anyway.
You cannot put on a costume for the next 40 years of your life if you get married and things go 100% according to plan, right? So you just can't be afraid to be yourself, and when you have that intrinsic confidence in you, and you're unapologetic, and you're just very self-aware, that's when you're actually going to be the most confident, charismatic version of yourself, okay, guys?
So hopefully this video has been helpful. Hopefully you now understand that when she tests you, quote-unquote, which she will, because a woman needs to. It's actually very important from the female perspective to be testing these men. 'Cause all these men quite easily could have very nefarious purposes, all right?
If you think about it going all that back to the evolutionary time period and all that, I mean, listen, it's way above my pay grade, but you know, you can imagine how things were back in the animal kingdom days when, you know, the man was the one who needed to provide resources and care for the offspring, blah, blah, blah.
But guys, that's why the woman needs to test. She's only going to test you if she's interested in you, and the way you pass the test is by maintaining the frame, quote-unquote, not by acting alpha and dominant like red pill will have you believe, which quite honestly is just really, um, insecurity reeking as masculinity.
That's what it comes down to. That's what that entire philosophy, if you will, quote-unquote, actually is. So guys, hopefully this all makes sense. If you are getting the test, number one, it's a good thing. But number two, to ensure you pass the test, which The Guy does every time with flying colors, and then it's only gonna have her actually more interested in you, because once he passes the test, she's gonna be like, "Oh, this guy's real.
Oh, this guy gets it." Link in the description, guys. Free trial. Pass every single test. And start having more fun on the dating apps, quite frankly. All right. That's it for me in this one. I will see you later. Any questions, drop a comment, and I'll get back to you. Take it easy, fellas. Peace out.