The Guy
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The Guy
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try asking chatgpt to write a flirty opener. you'll get something that makes women physically cringe. AI defaults to corny or creepy because that's what's in its training data. we spent months untraining that.
ChatGPT is the most powerful general-purpose AI in the world. it can write code, summarize research papers, and explain quantum physics. it cannot flirt.
this isn't a bug. it's structural. ChatGPT is trained via RLHF to be helpful, harmless, and honest. the "harmless" part is what kills you. flirting requires risk, ambiguity, tension, and edge. ChatGPT's safety training actively suppresses all of that.
the result: every dating text it writes sounds like it was written by HR. proper grammar. exclamation marks. "I'd love to hear more about..." structures. women spot it instantly.
you and ChatGPT wrote essentially the same message. compliment, question, exclamation mark. one sounds like a real person trying too hard. the other sounds like a chatbot trying too hard. she can't tell the difference because there isn't one.
The Guy opened with something absurd. she leaned in. he built tension. he pivoted. 8 messages. number. no emojis. no compliments. no questions about hiking.
these aren't strawmen. paste these prompts into ChatGPT yourself.
immediately capitulates. zero confidence. "no pressure at all" is people-pleasing. she suggested "maybe" and he responded with "whenever works for you." attraction: deleted.
generic. could be sent to anyone. no callback to anything specific or memorable. "we should definitely do that again sometime" is the least committal commitment ever made.
the classic "check-in" text. signals neediness. adds zero value. communicates that you've been counting the hours since her last message. she knows. and now she cares less.
you wouldn't use a Swiss Army knife to perform surgery. so why are you using a general-purpose AI for the most nuanced form of human communication?
ChatGPT is brilliant at a thousand things. dating texts aren't one of them. it has no model of attraction. no understanding of push-pull dynamics. no concept of investment matching, escalation pacing, or reading subtext. it treats every message as a standalone customer service interaction.
The Guy was built from the ground up to solve the specific problem that general AI cannot: sounding like an actual charming person over text.
| feature | ChatGPT | The Guy |
|---|---|---|
| purpose | general-purpose AI | dating text specialist |
| output | 1 generic reply | 3 ranked alternatives + justification |
| subtext analysis | x treats messages at face value | > reads what she actually means |
| coaching | x none | > explains why each option works |
| tone | HR department energy | calibrated, flat delivery, human |
| safety filters | kills all tension and edge | edge without manipulation |
| stage awareness | x none | > opener / mid-convo / close |
| detectability | instantly detectable | sounds like a real person |
| pricing | free / $20 Plus / $200 Pro | $59/month or $149/quarter |
| philosophy | "helpful, harmless, honest" | "text like you're not overthinking" |
ChatGPT can't flirt.
stop asking it to.
take the instinct quiz