The Guy
text like a hot girl, land 10x more dates
tldr: The hot girl with 50 matches a day doesn't care what you say in the first ten messages. Match her energy instead of chasing it, and stop treating every match like your last chance. Abundance texts back short. Scarcity writes essays.
you're texting like she's your only match. she's texting like she got 50 new ones this morning. that gap is the whole problem.
not your lines. not your opener. the mindset underneath every message you send. you treat each new match like a lifeline. one last shot at salvation. and that scarcity leaks out of every word you type. you think one clever self-deprecating joke covers it. it doesn't. scarcity is a smell. she can smell it through the screen.
this is Signal Inversion Theory in one sentence: the traits that make you a catch in real life are the exact traits sabotaging you on the apps. you're conscientious, thoughtful, polite. you ask good follow-up questions. that's your inversion. it reads as need.
why does texting like a hot girl actually work?
think about who she is. she opens the app, forty new matches, a full inbox. she is not reading your messages looking for a soulmate. she's not deciding anything in the first five to ten texts. she starts caring when she's sitting across from you on a date, in real life, and not one second before.
so you should be the same way. that's parity. that's the whole move.
instead you flip it. you decide she's the one before she's said a full sentence. you put her on a pedestal. and here's the part that stings: you're the same guys who complain the apps are rigged, that women get all the attention, that the ratio is broken. then you text in a way that hands her all the power you just complained about. you built the imbalance you're mad at.
i used to call this nice guy sexism. the red pill crowd is openly sexist. but there's a softer version most decent guys run without noticing. you treat her like an alien species that can't handle a joke. can't handle the raw version of you. so you use kid gloves. you treat her like a puzzle to solve instead of a person with the same fears and wants as everyone else. she feels the gloves. it's the least attractive thing on the app. i wrote more about why acting terrified of women reads as need.
what does a scarcity text look like versus an abundance text?
she sends you a dry "lol that's funny." here's what i used to send. here's what most of you send.
her: lol that's funny
you: haha glad you think so! so what are you up to this weekend? would love to hear more about you
her: [gone]
you thought you were being conscientious. asking about her weekend. showing interest. getting to know her.
she sent you sixteen characters of low effort. you came back with an essay. two questions and a "would love to hear more about you," which is the single most job-interview thing a man has ever typed into a phone. you're chasing her for saying lol. she noticed. that's the scarcity mindset in text form. this is the same instinct behind texting her like it's LinkedIn and wondering why it dies.
here's the version that works.
her: lol that's funny
you: don't encourage me
her: haha too late. what else you got
sixteen characters to match her sixteen. no questions. no audition. you took her compliment and turned it into a warning. she laughed, and now you're telling her she made a mistake by feeding you. that's abundance. that's a guy with somewhere else to be.
why is fumbling the match actually good for you?
because you're terrified of the no. the unmatch. the ghost. you treat those like failures. they're not. they're speed.
do you want to text a girl for two hours, plan a Friday, spend the money, show up, and discover the chemistry isn't there? that's a wasted week. it is much better for both of you to reach a no in three matches than in three dates. get to the no faster. the guy who fears the no keeps every dead match alive with essays. the guy who doesn't care burns through the wrong ones and finds the right ones sooner.
and this is the trap. when you're worried about fumbling the match, that's precisely when you fumble it. the fear is the fumble. stop worrying about it and your results change overnight. i've said before that playing it safe is the thing sabotaging you, and this is the mechanism.
who is actually auditioning here?
you are. still. that's the problem.
she swiped right on you. she matched. she already bought the car. and you're the used car salesman who follows the customer out into the lot, pressed up against the window going "hey man, you sure you're cool with the trim? you sure about the mileage? you're not worried it'll break down the second you drive off?"
nobody does that. if a salesman did that you'd cancel the sale on the spot. you'd assume something was deeply wrong with the car. that's what you're doing every time you sell yourself to a girl who already matched with you. you sell yourself right into a ditch.
the sale is done. stop closing a deal that already closed.
how do you flip the mindset without going full jerk?
the red pill guys will tell you this is why you neg her. put her down. act alpha. no. that's just scarcity wearing a costume. real abundance doesn't need to prove anything.
it's not negging. it's matching her energy. that's it.
before you send any text, ask one question: what would a hot girl say here? she got a dry "lol"? she wouldn't write a paragraph back. she'd send two words or nothing. run every reply through that filter and your text game changes without you learning a single line. better yet, run it through The Guy and let it catch the fumble before you send it. this is close to what i mean by the virgin factor, the guy who isn't performing wins because he isn't performing.
and here's the discovery we didn't want to make. we denied it to ourselves for a while. the most fit, most social, biggest-catch-in-real-life guys are the worst texters on the apps. every single trait that made them a catch in the flesh is the trait that sinks them in the chat. i broke this down further in why the best guys have the worst text game. the guy with nothing going on, who genuinely doesn't care what she says, texts like he doesn't need her. and she can't stop responding.
which path are you on?
you're at a fork. one road is resentment. you keep getting ghosted, you get bitter, you slide down the red pill hole, you start treating women badly, and you attract exactly the kind of woman who likes that, and now your whole dating life is a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery.
the other road is the holier-than-thou blue pill. you get emasculated, you perform decency for approval, and you buy a one-way ticket to the friend zone.
The Guy is the third way. abundance without cruelty. matching her energy without putting her down. you don't need to be the alpha and you don't need to be the pushover. you need to text like someone who has options, because acting like every match is your last one is the fastest way to make it your last one.
try The Guy at asktheguy.app. paste your conversation, get the version that actually works.
video transcript
You're texting like she's your only match. She's texting like she just got 50 new matches per day. Let's fix that in this video. Guys, the problem you have on the apps isn't the exact lines you're using necessarily, it's the entire mindset that dictates how you approach every single interaction. The problem is, is that you're treating every new match like it's a lifeline, like it's your one last chance at salvation.
But what you have to understand is that this scarcity mindset is a smell, it's a stench, it's a vibe, and you think you can hide it with one clever line, with one witty self-deprecating joke, but that's just not how it works. You have to make this mindset shift. You have to go from scarcity to abundancy.
The problem a lot of you guys have is that you're, you're always worried that you're gonna fumble the match, and paradoxically, that's what leads you to actually fumble the match. If you, if you adopted the mindset that I'm gonna help you enable and implement in this video, along with some examples of what this actually looks like in practice, if you were to adopt this mindset, you would see a total sea change.
And what you have to understand is that once you stop worrying about fumbling the match, that's when you're gonna have the most amount of success on the dating apps. Because the hot girl with 50 matches per day doesn't care what you necessarily have to say. She certainly doesn't care within the first five to 10 messages.
She's only going to start to care once she's actually out on a date with you in real life, okay? And so you need to be the same way. You need to start having the mindset of the hot girl on the apps, and that's how you're gonna be at parity. And if you're new here, guys, go back to the first videos on this channel where I talk about this nice guy sexism, if you will, where so many of you guys...
You know, obviously, we have the red pill philosophy influencer crowd, which is basically overtly sexist. Then we have this other soft form of sexism- I call it nice guy sexism. Basically, you treat these women like they're an alien species, like they can't handle a joke, like they're not gonna be able to handle the raw unfiltered version of yourself, and this leads you to treating them with kid gloves.
This leads you to treating them like a puzzle to be solved rather than just another human being who has fears, wants, hopes, and desires like the rest of us. And, and really how this, you know, actually metastasizes on the apps is that you put her on a pedestal. You make her out to be this alien foreign species, and she can sense that.
And so all you guys, the, the paradox here, the irony, is that you complain that the apps create this systematic imbalance where the females get all the attention, there's way more guys on the apps and all that, but then you text and put her on the pedestal, you know, completely exacerbating the exact scenario you describe and complain about so much.
And so that's what I wanna help you guys fix in this video. And so the key mindset shift, though, before you can fix any of this, is that so many of you guys, like I said, are worried about fumbling the match. But what you have to understand, 'cause you don't wanna get that no, you don't wanna get the unmatch, you don't wanna get the ghost, but guys, in the long run, that's actually a huge benefit to you.
Think about it. Do you wanna text with a girl, uh, for an hour or two, eventually go out on a date Friday night, just to find that the chemistry wasn't there, just to find that the vibe wasn't there? No, of course not, 'cause then you're gonna have invested your time, your energy, your money, your finances into this, your Friday night, and then it's all for naught.
Guys, it is much better, internalize this, it is much better for you to, both of you to come to the conclusion that it's not a good fit within three matches versus thr- versus three days, 30 days, all that. You would be much better off fumbling the match, quote unquote, getting to a no faster than not. All right, guys, let me give you a before and after example here, because this is how you really, um, are going to give-- this is how it's really going to sink in.
And guys, if you need help with the text game, the link is in the description. Check out The Guy app. We're helping guys text like the catch they are. We're helping them stop fumbling the matches because they're not-- because they're worried about fumbling the match. Like I said, that's the inherent, that's the inherent contradiction here.
Free trial, link in the description. It's a chatbot just like ChatGPT or Claude. Instead, it's not just some AI pickup generator. It's not some AI pickup line generator. It's an AI text coach that's gonna give you an analysis in terms of how to open and how to respond in every single interaction. All right, so before and after.
Say she sends you a dry, "Lol, that's funny." Before, you guys are saying something, and this is what I used to be say- sending. You're saying something like, "Ha ha, glad you think so. So what are you up to this weekend? Would love to hear more about you." And you think, "Well, well, dude, I'm being conscientious. I'm asking her what she's up to.
I'm trying to get to know her." It's not going to work, okay? And you know it's not, you know it's not gonna work. That's why you're five-plus minutes into the video right now. Here is what's going to work. If you were to run that response through The Guy app before you sent it, it would catch the fumble. It would catch the fumble, and here's what it would say.
It would say, "That's not going to work." She sent you 16 characters of low effort and you came back with an essay. Two questions and a would love to hear more about you, which is the most job interview thing a man has ever typed. You're chasing her for saying LOL. And again, it comes down to the scarcity mindset.
You think 'cause she was like, "Oh, you're kind of funny," you think, you think you're in there, but you're not. Now, here's what you should say. It continues, "She gave you almost nothing. Don't reward it. You could either say, one, thanks, I'll be here all week. Two, don't encourage me. Three, I know." It, it recommends I'd go with two, don't encourage me.
It's a warning. She laughed and now you're telling her she made a mistake by feeding you. It flips her compliment, this is the key part, it flips her compliment into a threat she created, and it's 16 characters to match her 16. So guys, what you need to do is you need to flip who's actually auditioning here in the process.
So many of you guys, like we've talked about, you match with her and then you continue to still sell yourself on the apps. It's like you bought a car from a used car salesman and he follows you out into the lot, right up against you, and he's like, "Hey, man, are you sure you're cool with the trim? Hey, man, are you sure it's got 100,000 miles on it?
Hey, man, are you sure you're not worried that this thing's gonna break down the second you drive it off the lot?" Imagine if a guy, if a car salesman did that. You would be like, "Yo, what is going on here?" N- now you would be regretting the decision you just made to purchase the car. That's what so many of you guys are doing on the apps.
You don't realize the obvious, that she swiped right on you, that she matched with you, and then still, you're still selling yourself, and you sell yourself right into a ditch So yeah, guys. And, and the way we have to make the mindset is the red pill guys will tell her, tell you, the red pill guys will tell you, "This is why you need to neg her.
This is why you need to put her down. This is why you need to act alpha." No, it's just matching her energy. It's just asking yourself before you send every single text message, number one, you really should run it through The Guy, but number two, if you're not gonna do that, at least ask yourself, "What would a hot girl say here?"
Literally, if you just made that one mindset shift, what would a hot girl say in this situation? That would completely change your entire text game overnight. And the key to texting like a hot girl is to have the abundance of the hot girl. Stop acting like every single match is your one last chance to have a girlfriend or get married.
Stop with this desperate energy where you're always worried about fumbling the match. 'Cause like I said, when you're worried about fumbling the match, that's when you're gonna fumble the match. When you text like the loser who's got nothing going on for him and really doesn't care what she has to say, that's when you're gonna have the best results.
It's so strange, but the guys who have the most going on for them, and we fell ass backwards into this discovery by accident. We didn't even wanna discover it. We, we denied it to ourselves. We rejected the evidence of our own eyes and ears once we did. But it's the guys who are the most successful, the most fit, the most social in person, the guys who are the biggest catches in person, are the worst at texting on the apps.
Because it's all those traits that made them successful, that made them a catch in real life, are what sabotages them on the dating apps. You think you're being conscientious, polite, respectable, um, you know, you're doing everything all the influencers have told you to do, both men and women, in the dating sphere, and it gets you nowhere.
And the reason why, you really owe it to yourself to check out The Guy app. Again, the link is in the description, fellas. The reason why you owe it to yourself is 'cause you're on a t- you're on a path that is not gonna lead well. Trust me. You're either gonna go, you're either gonna get resentful and you're gonna g- go down the red pill rabbit hole, which is going to lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where you treat women terribly, and that's going to attract a subset of women who are attracted to guys like that, and then you're only going to get terrible women in your life, and then it's going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Or you're gonna go totally blue pill. You're gonna adopt this holier than thou attitude, and it's just going to be very emasculating and it's gonna end up honestly being a one-way ticket to the friend zone, which I know you don't want. The Guy is the green pill. The Guy is the third way. You owe it to yourself to check it out.
Free trial, link in the description. Any questions or comments on what I have to say here, drop a comment. I will get back to you. Otherwise, subscribe to the channel. Guys, five videos per week, Monday through Friday. It's too important not to be posting daily. I'll talk to you later. Bye.