The Guy
stop referencing her bio. it's a trap.
tldr: Referencing her bio makes you the 50th guy to answer her interests like a quiz. It signals zero risk and zero filter, which is why she doesn't respond. Accuse her of something instead of complimenting her, and you become the interesting thing in the chat.
that thoughtful opener you wrote referencing her bio. it's not thoughtful. it's an insult. that's why she didn't respond.
i know why you did it. every dating influencer alive tells you to reference the bio. do your homework. do your due diligence. show her you read it. i did it too. for months. it got me nowhere.
so let me break down what's actually happening when you write "fellow hiker i see, have you done any of the fourteeners around here?"
why is referencing her bio a bad opener?
start with the effort. how long did that take you? six seconds. you read one line of her profile, spotted a hobby, and reflected it back at her. that's not thoughtful. that's the least thought you could possibly apply while still typing words.
now the bigger problem. every other guy is doing the exact same thing. she has hiking in her bio. she has gotten "omg you hike too" four hundred times. you didn't stand out for your effort. you blended in with the most boring men in her inbox. you volunteered to be identical.
and here's what you actually sound like. her old boomer uncle at the christmas party with the pocket protector, trying to make small talk. "so you like hiking. that's neat. know any good trails?" you turned yourself into her AllTrails concierge.
this is the same reason texting her on hinge like it's linkedin fails. you treated the match like a job application. she wanted a spark. you sent an intake form.
what is she actually testing for in her bio?
here's the reframe. if i were a hot woman on the apps, i wouldn't write my bio to give you conversation topics. i'd write it to filter people out. specifically, to filter out boring guys.
her bio is bait. you bit.
when she says she likes travel and hiking, the guys who respond by matching those hobbies are announcing something about themselves. they're announcing that they play it safe. that they need a script. that they can't generate anything on their own, so they'll borrow from the menu she provided.
her bio means nothing. or rather, it means the opposite of what you think. it's not a checklist to pass. it's a tripwire. and you're stepping on it with a big smile, expecting a medal.
chemistry doesn't come from mutual hobbies. it comes from the vibe. the emotional charge. the thing the apps physically cannot filter for. two people can both love hiking and feel absolutely nothing. you're optimizing for the one variable that doesn't matter.
what should i send instead of referencing her bio?
let me show you. her bio says travel and hiking. here's the before and after.
BEFORE: fellow hiker i see! have you done any of the fourteeners around here? always looking for trail recs
AFTER: my sleep doctor told me to stay away from people who hike alone. you came up specifically.
sit with that for a second.
the first one answers her bio like a quiz. zero risk. zero filter. dead on arrival. the second one accuses her of being a documented hazard. it doesn't compliment her. it forces her to defend whether she's the kind of person who'd leave you on a mountain to die.
that's the whole shift. the first text is a quiz she's already failed forty people out of. the second is a door.
a couple more from the same setup, so you see the pattern isn't one lucky line:
- "you have the look of someone who would leave me on a mountain to die, and i need to know if that's the plan."
- "i'm not allowed back on the trails after what happened in 2019 and i'd rather not get into it."
notice what none of these do. none of them ask about trail recommendations. none of them say "me too." none of them treat her hobby as sacred information to be honored. they use the bio as a launchpad and then make her the one who has to respond, not you.
you became the interesting thing. not your ability to match her hobbies.
why does the "safe" bio text feel so risky to send?
because you're afraid. that's the real answer. the bio is a crutch, and you're leaning on it because you're scared to send the unfiltered version of yourself.
you think playing it safe gets you a nice cordial response. a polite little exchange that slowly warms into a date. it's nice guy transactional energy. you're being polite now to cash it in later. she can smell that from the first message, and nice guys get ghosted precisely because "nice" reads as "wants something and won't say it."
this is what Signal Inversion Theory is about. the traits that made you successful everywhere else are the exact traits sabotaging you here. your conscientiousness. your ambition. your thoughtfulness. your respectfulness. in a performance review those get you promoted. in her inbox they get you left on read. if hinge let you attach files, half of you would send a resume.
playing it safe isn't the safe option. it's the most dangerous one. because safe is what every other guy is doing. it's a red ocean of "fellow hiker i see." the accusatory, unhinged, secure text is the blue ocean nobody's swimming in. and the reason nobody's swimming in it is the reason it works. only a genuinely confident guy sends it. the alpha-performing guys can't. they're too busy managing their image. this is the same playing it safe is sabotaging you trap, dressed up as diligence.
what's the worst that happens if i stop referencing her bio?
be honest about the downside. what's the worst outcome from throwing a grenade into the chat instead of a compliment?
she doesn't respond.
but she's already not responding. that's why you're reading this. the safe text has a success rate you've been measuring for months and it's zero. the risk you're avoiding is a risk on an outcome you already have.
there's a version of this that connects to texting like a virgin, the idea that the guy who isn't strategizing every word, who's a little nervous and a lot honest, outperforms the guy running a polished playbook. the polished guy is legible. she's seen him four hundred times. the unfiltered guy is a genuine unknown. unknowns are interesting. quizzes are not.
when she matched with you, she was hoping you'd be different. she was hoping you'd be the last match she ever makes so she can finally delete the app everyone hates. the bio text tells her you're the same. the accusation tells her maybe not.
the actual mindset shift
stop treating her profile as a test to pass. it's not homework. it's a filter, and answering it correctly is how you fail.
her bio is the bait. don't bite. use it, twist it, accuse her of something with it, and make yourself the interesting thing in the conversation instead of the guy who read her interests back to her like a customer service rep confirming an order.
i'm not a guru. i made every one of these mistakes myself. i referenced the bio for months and got nothing, and the only way i learned was by being wrong repeatedly and paying attention. the fix isn't manipulating her. it's getting out of your own way and cutting the training wheels off your text game.
try The Guy at asktheguy.app. paste your conversation, get the version that actually works.
video transcript
That thoughtful opener you wrote referencing her bio, it's not thoughtful. It's an insult, and that's why she didn't respond. Guys, so many of you are committing the cardinal sin that is referencing her bio. Now, I get why you're doing it. Every dating influencer, man or woman, tells you, "Reference the bio.
Do your homework. Do your due diligence." But where has it gotten you? If you're watching this video, my guess is not very far, and I totally understand because I was the same exact way. I was referencing her bio. You think this is thoughtful, but it's not because number one, how long did it take you? Six seconds?
Not much effort, gentlemen. Also, what you must understand is that every other guy is referencing the bio on the apps. So you're not standing out for your thoughtfulness. You're just blending in with the most boring guys on the apps. And seriously, guys, what do you think she's going to think when she hears for the 50th time that, "Hey, you like hiking, too?
Awesome. Do you know any cool hiking trails in the area?" Guys, you sound like her old boomer uncle with the pocket protector at the Christmas party trying to make small talk. It's just not going to work. And here's the bigger realization you need to make, and I'm gonna give you some examples of what you should be sending on the apps going forward and the mindset shift you ultimately need to make.
But you're using the bio as a crutch. That's what it really comes down to, guys. Whether you consciously or subconsciously even realize it, I'm gonna break it down for you right now. You're using the bio as a crutch because you're afraid to be the unfiltered, raw, authentic version of yourself, and you think by referencing the bio, by playing it safe, you're gonna get a nice cordial response.
That's how you're gonna get to know her, and then eventually you'll be able to take her out on a date, and then, you know, I think we all know what your goals are from there. It's just nice guy transactional energy, which is just not very nice at all. That's what you need to understand. And here's the thing.
When she matches with you, she's hoping you're gonna be different. She's hoping you're gonna be the last match she ever has on the app and that she can finally get off the god-awful dating apps, which if you look at their favorabil- favorability ratings, excuse me, are in the toilet with the American public at the moment.
No one wants to be on the apps, and it's because of the boring messages everyone's receiving. That's why me and my co-founder founded The Guy app, which is helping men text like the catch they are, get out of their own way. And we've gotten feedback of, like, the terminal 1980s computer aesthetic. They're like, "What are we?
Are you trying to hack women or something like this?" It's like, "No, guys, we're trying to hack you because you're boring, because you're afraid to be unfiltered." And here's the thing. When it comes to... What you really need to realize is that when you text her referencing the bio, it's like your text game has training wheels.
You're using the bio as a crutch. Here are some examples of what you should be saying instead. So like I said, her bio mentions she likes travel and hiking, just like they all do, right? Before, you would say something like, "Fellow hiker I see," exclamation point. "Have you done any of the fourteeners around here?
Always looking for trail recs." Terrible. What, what is she, your AllTrails, like, you know, concierge at the moment? Now, if you were to send that message through The Guy app, link in the description, because The Guy app is not just some AI text line generator. No, it's way deeper than that, guys. It's an AI text coach as well as giving you analysis step by step in every interaction, walking you through it.
It's not manipulating women. It's just manipulating yourself so you don't shoot yourself in the foot with the text game, and you can actually move off the app, get her number, and eventually take her out on a date and see where things go from there. Now, if you were to run that message through The Guy app, it would say, "That's the exact opener she's gotten 400 times.
'OMG, you hike too' is you answering her bio like a quiz. It makes you the 50th guy reflecting her interest back at her. Zero risk, zero filter, dead on arrival." Her bio is the bait and you bit. Okay, guys, her bio is a trap. If I were a hot woman on the apps, I would be using my bio to filter guys out. Filter boring guys out, that is.
Now, if you handed me your phone, here are three options I would give you. Number one, my sleep doctor told me to stay away from people who hike alone. You came up specifically. Number two, you have the look of someone who would leave me on a mountain to die, and I need to know if that's the plan. Number three, I'm not allowed back on the trails after what happened in 2019, and I'd rather not get into it.
And then the guy recommends going with one, the sleep doctor comment, because it accuses her of being a documented hazard instead of complimenting her, and it forces her to defend whether she's a leave you for dead hiker. That's a door, not a quiz. Her bio means nothing. You're the interesting thing now, not your ability to match hobbies.
That's what you guys have to understand, guys, is that chemistry is not going to be determined by mutual hobbies. It's going to be determined by the vibe, the emotional connection, all those things that the apps, quite frankly, just cannot filter for. And what you must understand is that, number one, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
She doesn't respond. Guys, she's already not responding. That's why you're five and a half minutes into this video watching right now. Number two, you, what you have to understand is that you have to just not be afraid to throw the grenade into the chat because like I've said in past videos, and if you are just discovering this channel for the first time, definitely go back to the start and watch every single video.
Honestly, you should even take notes from start to finish, 'cause at first, we're focusing on deconstructing all your preconceived notions that are quietly sabotaging you on the apps. And despite the fact that it's the same traits that have made you successful and attractive in every other area of your life, it is these traits, the conscientiousness, the ambition, the drive, the thoughtfulness, the respectfulness, all these traits are what sabotages you on the apps.
I mean, guys, I swear, if Hinge had the ability to attach files, half you guys would be sending in a resume or a one-page fact sheet You cannot be afraid to just throw a grenade into the chat and see what happens. What you must internalize is that playing it safe on the apps by referencing your bio, by being the thirty second guy to do that today, is the most dangerous strategy, the most risky strategy you could pursue because ultimately it's what every other guy is doing.
It's a red ocean. The Guy is the blue ocean, the strategy that nobody is pursuing because they're all putting on an act, trying to act alpha, masculine, dominant, confident. But only a truly confident guy who is actually secure in himself and his masculinity would dare send any of the things that The Guy app recommends.
That's the difference. That's the paradox. That's what you really need to internalize. So that's it for me in this one for the most part. I don't know what else I would really talk about here, honestly, in this topic. You guys just need to try The Guy. Don't take my word for it. And guess-- And guys, again, I am not a guru.
Far from it. I was making every single mistake that I talk about here on this channel. It's the only way I could learn, by, by making every single mistake. That's how I learned. So yeah, guys, if you wanna check out The Guy and start texting like The Guy, like the guy she wants you to be, funny, charismatic, charming.
Again, The Guy is not gonna, you know, get you dates that you wouldn't have been able to get anyway if you weren't, like, the most unhin- unfiltered, unhinged version of yourself. You're not gonna manipulate women into going out on dates. You're just going to get out of your own way and stop shooting yourself in the foot, most importantly.
Free trial, link in the description. Doesn't matter what stage in the app you're on, a new match, a current conversation, doesn't matter. Upload the screenshots to The Guy. Get three custom-tailored recommendations to move forward, as well as an analysis. That's the key. ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, Rizz AI, any of these other bots, they don't have the underlying philosophy of The Guy.
They will never be able to compete with The Guy. All right, guys. That's my fifth video for this week. We might be coming out with a bonus one tomorrow. Stay tuned. We have to answer some haters in the comments. Otherwise, check out The Guy, link in the description. I'll see you on Monday morning, the latest.
Take it easy. Bye.